Did you #SeizeTheBae2015?

People generally want to feel renewed. We all want a fresh start at life, an opportunity to make things right with an ex, a chance to say a better “hello” with the right accent to a crush. In the exams room, we rue every second spent engaged in fruitless arguments over whether Messi is better than Ronaldo, we regret every minute spent binge watching The Big Bang Theory, and mourn the days we procrastinated the semester away. The minute the stats paper is placed on our tables, we pray for a time travel capsule to manifest out of the blue and transport us back to the beginning of the semester.

At no other material moment, does all of humanity resolve to change or get better than during the dying embers of a calendar year. When 30 days pass by in the month of December, people begin to introspect regardless of how fleeting, about their lives. We remember the dumb things we did, the chances we allowed to slide by, the moments we were unjustifiably angry, the days we were effusively happy. We try to forget the disappointments and struggle to forgive some grievances. But most importantly, we make resolutions!

Resolutions, mostly non-verbalized, give us an opportunity to feel renewed. With the calendar changing and the sun supposedly completing a revolution, resolutions imbibe us with that “can do spirit”. So we tell ourselves “we will jog more, eat less, stop drinking, start loving, quit smoking, get closer to God, stay away from sin, abandon procrastination et al!”. It is all fine and dandy for the first few days.

Actually, for the first few hours for some people. Once the colors of the firecrackers dissipate from the dark clouds and their cannon-like booms die down, 98% of resolutions all around the world are non-verbally shredded and I used to be one of the 98ers.

Before I started keeping this blog, I had made a thousand and one resolutions to as I always put it, blog religiously. I toyed with the idea a couple of times, starting a blogspot and a tumblr account. Within weeks of starting, I quitted. My inner animal just could not bring its raging self to follow a resolution. Last two years, I told myself I was going to “hit the gym everyday”. It was around a time where guys in my neighborhood were wearing “read to fight” t-shirts with bulging biceps and triceps and occasionally intentionally taking off the tees to show of six packs. All I had to show off was a single pack with chicken wings for an arm.

I did start working out after December 31st and as expected, I was not the only newbie at the improvised back yard gym. I was surrounded by fellow lanky young men who were filled with fiery enthusiasm and a couple of older men who probably thought working on their pot bellies was going to save their relationships. On the first day, I did a tad too many dumb bell reps. In my mind, I was not leaving the gym until I had guns like Popeye. I woke up the following morning in excruciating pains with arms curled like a crab. You are right if you guessed that I never returned to the gym. To this day, I always feel like asking the gym instructor for a change on my 50 cedis registration fee. I used the gym once for crying out loud!

Of all the resolutions I have had however, the one I was most excited about was #SeizeTheBae2015. In the age of twitter and hashtags, the most mundane of stuff can cause a storm and trend easily. One of those was #SeizeTheBae2015. It started picking up pace towards the end of 2014 and got everyone on my Facebook timeline talking. The whole “movement” was about dropping the soft tactics in getting someone you like to like you back. The time for the awkward hi, small talks, silly late night texts and obnoxious flirting was over. It was time to go in like a group of bandits and SEIZE THE BAE like tribesmen from the Caucuses.

The month of January went by and Bae was not seized. We went through the remaining 11 months from 0 to a 100 quickly and Bae was not even confronted, talk less of being seized. The last few days of December saw another hashtag trending. #ShootYourShot2015! Like a quarterback running out of time, #ShootYourShot2015 was for brothers to throw a last minute Hail Mary and pray for a miraculous reception from Bae. But the thing with Ghanaian girls and shooting your shot is, they are like DeGea, Cech, Courtois, Barthez, Buffon, Casillas and Howard put together. They will deflect and save every shot you shoot their way.

So if there is anything I have learnt about resolutions, it definitely would be from how I eventually started keeping a steady blog. Do not plan it. Do not brood over it. Just do it. Wake up one day which does not happen to be January 1st and tell yourself you are going to do. And take it one day at a time while you are at it. That way, it ceases to be something of ceremonial status but something mundane. Because it is the mundane stuff which lasts for long. So when black, Ghana or whichever twitter decide to trend #MoveToTheGirls2016 as it is doing with #MoveToBoys2016, I will not fall prey. Bae knows where I am. She should come find me.

 

5 thoughts on “Did you #SeizeTheBae2015?

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  1. Perfect write up. Unlike the previous ones, you profer solutions. It’s too perfect to write anything against it. May Allah bless you more with abundant wisdom and knowledge.

    Like

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