Writing to “the one”: Playing hard to get

There is a statement attributed to Bob Marley about how if a girl is amazing, you would not easily give up on her and if you do give her up, then you are not worthy of her. It might be a fictitious statement or something he actually did say. Maybe he said it after puffing a roll or two of Mary J before entering the booth. Nonetheless, the statement has some immense value in conversations about crushes, romance and love.

The social convention here seems to be one which makes it strenuous to get on the same page with a crush. Confronting her is the easiest thing. With whatsapp and the increasing skill with which people “slide into the DM/PM”, telling a girl how you feel about her is no longer a complex art. Social media has effectively taken away the shyness accompanied with this endeavor.

Back when we were in junior and senior high school, you either wrote a love letter to a crush or employed the services of a “betweener” who usually was a mutual friend to convey the message. So the nervousness was not always a problem but a piece of paper with cupid printed in the middle and roses bedecking the edges could only do so much in conveying feelings. As for the betweeners, they were the most undependable. They could easily distort your message for a higher price paid by another person who was also crushing on your crush.

So talking to your crush is not as arduous as it used to be. I could easily send you a “hello” in the virtual world after catching a glimpse of your smile and hearing your course mate shouting out your name from outside the shuttle. What remains to be answered is whether or not you would respond. And even when you do, would my wooing be slick enough to sweep you off your feet?

A couple of years ago, I thought I had met you. This was back when I was in an all-boys secondary school and almost everyone in my class was talking about their girlfriends in other secondary schools around the country. Some exaggerated their repertoire with spiced up lists of girlfriends in all the top girls’ boarding schools.

When the postman delivered letters to our school and the names of recipients were pasted in the dining hall, some of these guys had their names always featured on this list. The only time I saw mine up there was when “National Geography” returned a letter I sent them inquiring about the possibility of me writing for them. How nerdy I have always been!

To get someone to write to me so I could have some cred with the “cool boys”, I forced myself to believe I had met you. We were in the same junior high school but you were yet to form those features which made women out of girls so I never noticed you. When I finally did, you became the clichéd “apple of my eyes” who gave me sleepless nights. Of course every other fruit connoisseur laid eyes on this apple so it was not going to be an easy picking.

Someway somehow, I succeeded in getting your number and saving my paltry boarding house stipend to buy call credits. So we spent minutes every night by the Vodafone call booths but miles apart talking and laughing, with me being as cheesy as I still am. Whenever you giggled from Labone, I thought my work was getting easier. Until I finally dropped the hammer and you gave me the Ghanaian version of “it’s not you it’s me”. “I need to focus on my education right now”. You made it sound like I was asking you to elope with me to some cottage in Afram Plains where we would make babies and herd cattle with the Fulani.

Well now that it is all said and done, I know she was not you. But she was amazing. I still think she is. I could write about the girl from level 200, the one next door or the other one I have been texting for close to two years now but you do get the gist of it all already.

Going by what Bob Marley said, I was not worth it. I should have kept on the fight for since she is amazing, she is not going to be easy and that would have made it all worth it.

But why should it be so? Why should any girl, whether worth it or not, play that hard to get game? See some of us are feeble hearted. We hate rejection and at the slightest hint of its presence, we back down from the challenge. We might be lazy with the chasing but we treasure a good thing when we do get it, easily or not.

The long and worn out fight does not guarantee treasuring what you fought for. If anything, it makes the girl a trophy for keeps. Like a safari hunter, once you shoot down your game, you just hang it up for a show of virility.

Maybe it actually does make some people treasure who they fought for but not everyone wants to fight. Not everyone wants to go through the motions with a fear of a “NO” at the end of the day. Some people do have faint hearts but want fair ladies and they are very capable of showering these fair ladies with the Telenovela kind of love or even more saccharine than that.

As you read this, please change your heart if you are the “hard to get” type. Do not play that game in a bid to see whether or not my intentions are for real. I would have deleted your number by the time you came around with a positive answer. Anyone could easily put up a façade for the end game.

Or you could be like Khadija as I always say and slide into my DM. I would not kid around.

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