I was explaining to a lady friend of mine yesterday about a propaganda that is all too easily believed and peddled these days about black men and romance & marriage. I thought I’d post a little about it here.

There’s this misconception that black men like being in relationships with non-black women than black women. Often, you hear people say things like “black men marry outside their race than other men” as if that is indicative of their relationship preference, and black men’s dislike of black women. This is misleading and propaganda at its finest. I want to use something to illustrate what I am trying to say here.

Imagine that 5% of the population has diabetes. And of the 5% of diabetes sufferers, doctors find that 55% of them got it through eating apples. If I hear a headline saying “diabetes is mostly caused by apples,” does that do real justice to the conversation? Forget that say 50% of the population eats apples. But if you read the headline, it might make you up in arms about the dangers of apples and obsessing over the extreme dangers of apples.

Black men overwhelmingly marry other black women and are in relationships with other black women—over 95%+ globally and over 80% in the US. This is the same for most people from most communities. We live and love people closer to us, and most of us live and interact with people of the same race. If you actually look at black men in Africa marrying non-black women and compare it to white men in Europe marrying non-white women, you will find that they do that a lot more than the African men. So it is not true that black men like non-black women more than black women. But if I may, I’ll like to postulate why this propaganda is often splashed in our public discourse.

Historically, black men have been late to the cross-racial sex and relationships. Arab and Middle Eastern men, since they invaded North Africa have been doing it (sometimes through rape) with black women for a thousand years. The same thing happened when they invaded the Siberian peninsula. White men have been sexing up black women (sometimes through rape) since they touched foot on the African continent over seven hundred years ago. They have been doing it with Asian women and Native American women since the same time period. Black men are late to the game of cross-racial romance. And marriage isn’t the only measure of relationships. Even during slavery when there were strict rules on cross-racial relationships, white men were sneaking into the huts of their black female slaves to get something. Every African American today has white blood because of the scale of that white man’s taste for the black woman. Of course Malcolm X in his autobiography details how white men snuck into Harlem in large numbers to get some black women magic.

At the time in America and in African colonies, black men will be castrated for even looking a white woman in the face. Now things have opened for black men and so we have this propaganda about black men wanting other women than black women. It is an amazing narrative given the historic data. But I think men of all races love women and we tend to really not care much who they are if they love us.

But again, why push that narrative? I think it is partly to get black women in particular to feel less than. We already have an overwhelming industry of propaganda through fashion, TV etc telling black women to feel bad about themselves, and this narrative is just one of them. It is like the way Ghanaians (including myself) react to some of our football stars married to white women. We have literally hundreds of Ghanaian footballers who have played football in Europe and I can count the number who have married white women on my fingers but there’s a narrative that black football stars in Europe marry white women. It is a propaganda narrative. And it helps reinforce the propaganda that black women aren’t worthy.

Also, it is the case that the people whose territory we black men are encroaching on will try to play wolf too much. They own and control the media and often direct the narrative so they propagate this false narrative. White men have always had access to every woman in the world and they’ve utilized that access to their hearts’ (and something else) content lol. The fact that all African Americans are mixed is a living proof of it. Many Coastal societies in Africa and Asia are living proof of this. Black men are new to the game. Men just love women. Black men love women too. Some of these women are White, Arab, Chinese, Korean, Brazilian, or Mexican. It is high time we stop buying into the narrative that black men are chasing other raced women as if it is an isolated phenomenon. I for one love all women, including my black women. And I’ll advise every black man and woman to be with whoever would love him or her. And it is most likely going to happen with someone close and with whom you have regular contact with. No more propaganda nonsense.

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