You might have heard about the guy who drove a truck into a crowded sidewalk in Toronto killing 10 people (8 of whom were women) some time last week. What you have not really heard about or given serious attention is what motivated the guy’s murderous act. And I’m here to tell you that that in itself is a symptom of the problem I’m about to discuss.
Apparently the guy who murdered 8 women and two women is said to have been a socially awkward college student and a computer geek who belonged to a group of men who congregate on online message boards like Reddit. They call themselves “INCELS”. INCEL is the abbreviation of what they call involuntary celibate. This basically means they want to have sex but are unable to get girlfriends. They therefore band together online to hate on men and women (in particular) who they think are having sex and excluding them. Their ideas, expressed online on these boards and ignored, have started having real life consequences as shown in the Toronto murders.
Before he went out to kill these 8 women, he’d posted on Facebook praising the first ever confirmed INCEL terrorist, a guy who killed 6 people in California along with himself. That guy left an extensive treatise rambling on about his hate for women for denying him sex. These so-called INCELS call regular people Chads (Tyrone if black man) and Stacys. They think they have the right to get sex from women because they’re supposedly nice or gentlemen. The California killer is referred to as “Supreme Gentleman” by the Toronto killer. This is the kind of male entitlement to female bodies that we need to stamp out of male consciousness.
It is important for all of us to re-educate our young men that every decision a woman or girl has to take regarding her body is entirely her own, especially when it comes to sex. You’re not owed any sex simply because you’re nice. Any friend of mine close to me knows that I’m generally very nice to everyone including girls. It’s not worth detailing the countless things I do for girls regularly. But I have never felt entitled to sex from any of these girls because I was supposedly ‘a gentleman’. I have been nice to girls and have asked to go out with one or two with some saying no. Egotistical as I am, I have got my ego bruised a few times. But at the end of the day, I’ve simply remind myself that no one owes me anything much less a romantic relationship because I’m nice. The worst I’ve done have been to ask a few more times and let go if told a second/third time they’re not interested. I simply move on.
Female bodies and what they do with it is entirely their business. With so many girls around, why would you get your panties in a bunch because a few have refused your advances? Even if we’re to say that no girl ever agrees to sleep with you, why not go jerk off? Don’t you have hands and a brain? Why must your sexual appetite be satisfied come what may by a girl or woman? Your penis belongs to you to do with what you want. Her vagina belongs to her to do with what she wants. We need to drum this seriously in the heads of boys we’re bringing up today.
What I really found disturbing is that the news media didn’t emphasize this aspect of the killer’s motifs like they usually do if he’s an Islamist or White Supremacist. We’re missing an education moment here. We get language and rhetoric on the internet everyday from young men that reinforces the idea that women’s bodies belong to men. This kind of rhetoric leads to these terrorist acts. 8 women are dead because of such rhetoric which we’ve allowed to fester on the internet. We need to tackle everyday male entitlement mentality before we get a serious problem (more than it is now) in the future. The Southern Poverty Law Center has already listed INCEL as a hate group. The public discourse needs to catch up. Male entitlement mentality actually kills (mostly domestically already) and likely to cause more problems if we don’t tackle it now.